Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Everything You need to know about Women, Love and Sex, may be learned from classic literature

Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. (Chapter 9)

That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you neer know where the hell you are. Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. They really can. (Chapter 10)

I wouldn't mind being pretty good at that stuff. Half the time, if you really want to know the truth, when I'm horsing around with a girl, I have a helluva lot of trouble just finding what I'm looking for, for God's sake, if you know what I mean. Take this girl that I just missed having sexual intercourse with, what I told you about. It took me about an hour to just get her goddam brassiere off. By the time I did get it off, she was about ready to spit in my eye. (Chapter 13)

If a girl looks swell when she meets youm who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. (Chapter 17)

Girls. You never know what they're going to think. (Chapter 18)

Holden Caufield, The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger

I feel sorry for lovely girls; they feel they are the cause of their own troubles, but are never quite sure why.

Oliver Walzer, The Mighty Walzer, Howard Jacobson

He knew women early, and since they spoiled him he became contemptuous of them, of young virgins because they were ignorant, of the others because they were hysterical about things which in his overwhelming self-absorption he took for granted. (Chapter 6)

The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald  

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.

The Sphinx Without a Secret, Oscar Wilde

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that, would tell one anything

 

I don't think there is a woman in the world who would not be a little flattered if one made love to her. It is that which makes women so irresistibly adorable.
 
My dear young lady, there was a great deal of truth, I dare say, in what you said, and you looked very pretty while you said it, which is much more important.

A Woman of No Importance, Oscar Wilde

The strength of women ocmes from the fact that psychology cannot explain us. Men can be analyzed, women...merely adored
The Ideal Husband, Oscar Wilde
   

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Oscar Wilde

Her voice was ever soft,

Gentle and low, an excellent thing in woman.

King Lear: King Lear, (Act V, Scene 3)

Wilt thou be daunted at a woman's sight?

Ay, beauty's princely majesty is such,
Confounds the tongue and makes the senses rough.

She's beautiful and therefore to be woo'd: She is a woman, therefore to be won.

Suffolk: King Henry VI, Part 1 (Act V, Scene 3)

True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids to the wall.

Samson: Romeo and Juliet (Act I, Scene 1)

Mr. Bennet treated the matter differently. "So, Lizzy," said he one day, "your sister is crossed in love, I find. I congratulate her. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed a little in love now and then. It is something to think of, and it gives her a sort of distinction among her companions. When is your turn to come? You will hardly bear to be long outdone by Jane. (Chapter 24)

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment. (Chapter 6)

Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen

When the candles are out all women are fair.
Morals, Plutarch (46-120AD)

For I cannot think that God Almighty ever made them so delicate, so glorious creatures; and furnished them with such charms, so agreeable and so delightful to mankind; with souls capable of the same accomplishments with men: and all, to be only stewards of our houses, cooks and slaves.
 The Education of Women, Daniel Defoe

 Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with the utmost passion of her heart.
The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne

In revenge and in love, woman is more barbaric than man.
Beyond Good and Evil, Friedrich Nietzche
 
 
I have seen too much not to know that the impression of a woman may be more valuable than the conclusion of an analytical reasoner. 
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

O woman, perfect woman! What distraction was meant to mankind when thou wast made a devil
Monsieur Thomas, John Fletcher