Age Old Recipe

I had an interesting lunch conversation today regarding manners in present day society. I don't necessarily have full conversations on this topic frequently, but, quite regularly, I hear remarks voicing sentiments of a similar nature. It is easy to look at the children of a younger generation, be appalled by their behavior, and think to myself, "Things were not that bad when  I was their age." Depending on the behaviors being witnessed it can even cause anxiety thinking the world is headed to hell in a dishevelled hand basket.

Think for a moment. What is more likely:
A. Society is rapidly deteriorating further and further with each generation
or
B. As we age, our perspective changes and our behavioral expectations increase making it appear that we are in a downward spiral.*

This is an age old concern. As far back as 8th Century B.C. There are records of this depressed view of the future of youth. Hesiod  said:

I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words...When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint.

Socrates is credited with saying in 4th Century B.C.:

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates pupil, Plato, followed with:

 

What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaving. What is to become of them?

 

 

All of my theories are based on my own life experiences. I am not a philosopher and I certainly have no hard evidence on the matter, but I believe the trend of youth behavior looks more like this graph I found from Anxiety Culture:



 

 

Perhaps it is a bit "Glass is half full" of me, but I am inclined to think that as I have grown, my understanding of proper behavior and human interaction has improved. Have I -- dare I say it -- matured?

*All theories are based on my personal life experience. They are not backed by any hard sociological or experimental data. They are developed after significant and long term pondering of all that is found in my repository of knowledge.



This Tastes Familiar

I read this yesterday courtesy of Marc and Angel Hack Life:

When you get to know people with different ethnic backgrounds, from different cities and countries, who live at various socioeconomic levels, you begin to realize that everyone basically wants the same things.  They want validation, love, happiness, fulfillment and hopes for a better future.  The way they pursue these desires is where things branch off, but the fundamentals are the same.  You can relate to almost everyone everywhere if you look past the superficial facades that divide us.

This passage reminded me of something...
I have a theory, well actually I have many theories, but at present, this one comes to mind:

The happenings of our lives are not so unique as we like to believe. The things we experience are common, repetitive, and relate-able. Our individuality, therefore, is found in the unique combination of life occurrences and our reactions to these events.*

This is not intended as some attempt to devalue the individuality of anyone. As mentioned in this theory, I do believe in a uniqueness of man. But when examining the happenings of our lives, positive and negative alike, we have a great deal more in common with our fellow man than we would like to credit. There are several occasions recently when this concept has been called to my mind:

1. Any dealings with my mother:
   It seems I run a life parallel to that of my mother. There are many times when this causes conflict. Most frequently it is when she expresses mistrust in my decision making capabilities. I believe when speaking with my mother about any issue, minor or significant, she relates too closely to my situation that she cannot help but to immediately recall a similar situation in her past and the pain or frustration she felt when dealing with with it in her own life. Because she is my mother and she loves me, the mere possibility that I may experience any pain results in an immediate desire to solve the problem on my behalf in lieu of trusting my ability to face my demons alone. My mom looks at how similar my life is to hers and sees all the pain I may face. I look at how similar my life is to hers and am comforted by this glimpse of how perfectly everything will turn out. Frankly, how could I be anything but well equipped to face life's troubles? After all, I learned from the best.
   
2. Watching TV:
   The other night I began watching My So Called Life, a short lived, mid-90s teen drama turned cult classic about the life and times Angela Chase and her high school journey of self discovery (the most important aspect of which was her crush on Jordan Catalano ::sigh::). As I was watching this show which aired 17 years ago and was set 6 years before I started high school, I found myself relating on such a deep personal level to everything Angela goes through. Having a crush that is all consuming, having friends and growing apart, wanting to go out and experience things way beyond your years and fighting with your parents when they say no, etc. Angela puts it bluntly, "My parents keep asking how school was. It's like saying, 'How was that drive-by shooting?' You don't care how it was, you're lucky to get out alive." A television show like this only becomes as popular and notorious as it became because it addresses issues to which millions from multiple generations can relate.
   
   I remember when I was asked to Senior prom as a Freshman and I thought it was the coolest thing. My parents were of a different opinion and refused to let me attend. Since I knew better and they were certainly just trying to ruin my life, I threw a fit. They finally agreed to let me go. I learned later it was not to appease me, but because I wouldn't learn the lesson they were trying to protect me from unless I learned it on my own. Sure enough, I went, I was the youngest person there and I had a miserable time. As it turned out I was ill equipped to be in the company of a strictly Senior population. For some reason this experience has stayed with me and it is one of those moments that comes to mind when I see things like a fight between Angela Chase and her mother. In high school I was like Angela, thinking my parents didn't understand me. Now I see that fight and think, "Silly Angela, she is just trying to protect you because she knows more than you. She's been there." Isn't that just what "I've been there" means? An acknowledgement that I have had a common relate-able experience.
   
   Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." I think perhaps, everyone young and old having the same experiences is God's way of helping us learn from the history of other people and civilizations. If only we were smart enough to listen.
   
3. Finding a close friend in a perfect stranger:
   From time to time, I will meet someone new and there is an immediate connection. We instantly understand eachother's humor, we understand one another's thought processes, it just feels like we have known one another for years yet we met 5 minutes ago. This recently happened to me with my friend Tamara. we met less than two months ago through a work project. There are people I have known for 10 years I don't feel I know as well as her. The only thing I can possibly imagine could results in this sort of "kindred spirit" encounter is meeting a person who has a similar combination or life occurrences and reactions. Life paths are never identical and the details are always unique but I believe there are people with whom our lives run parallel and when we meet them, we can't help put feel that connection.
   
4. Seeing a picture, reading a quote, listening to a song, that touches your soul:
   There are times when i hear a song on the radio, read a book, or see a picture on the internet and it feels like that song, book, or picture was made for me. There is something about it that speaks so loudly to me that it elicits some indescribable emotion and I want to hear it, read it, look at it over and over again. Sometimes they are sad, sometimes they are funny. Whatever the tone, they are the sounds, words, vision of another person and we feel a connection to them through their art. Today as I was reviewing the recent posts of Dante Shepheard from Surviving the World, I found this silly post which seemed to describe perfectly my irrational passion for the things I like. I feel anyone who knows me will appreciate...
   
   

As with all theories, they remain the closest thing I have to personal truths until further experimentation, or in this case life experience, brings new evidence to light. For now I look forward to to future experiences that will allow me to relate to my fellow man

*All theories are based on my personal life experience. They are not backed by any hard sociological or experimental data. They are developed after significant and long term pondering of all that is found in my repository of knowledge.

Wisdom and Humor: Two complimentary flavors

I am blessed to have people in my life who share their humor and wisdom. My friend Dan is one such person. I recently stumbled upon these two gems of his succinct, sound advice:

If ever you feel ill, sweaty though you may be, refrain from removing too many articles of clothing because, were you to pass out, the people that find you will not have the initial response to be of assistance, but rather they first will wonder why you are not wearing clothes.

If ever you read or listen to something and you hear trumpets in the background, stop, step back, and reevaluate. Take most things with a grain of salt.

If SB5 Wins, We All Lose

Generally speaking, I am politically uninclined. I refrain from political discussion to keep my blood pressure in check. There is however a current issue I have no choice but to address, not for my own well being, but for the sake of my patients. I am a nurse at a local hospital and therefore a member of the nursing union therein. This union is vital for supporting the safe staffing of the hospital as well as providing equal pay and fair treatment of nurses. In the last year, we have been facing crippling staffing shortages. The only thing that has allowed for the hospital to continue to run with a safe number of nurses is the section in our contract allowing for mandation which, for better or worse, allows us to never work a shift with less nurses than required for safe patient care. Without this stipulation in our union contract, our patients would suffer from overtaxed nurses who barely have time to address the bare minimum care due to being spread so thin. There would be a massive increase in burnt out nurses thus perpetuating the strain on patient care.

I do not preach the integrity of unions as a whole and I am not seeking to save equal pay and benefits. I am seeking a repeal of Senate Bill 5 to ensure my patients, and your family members who come through my hospital receive the care they need and deserve by supporting a nursing union which guarantees safe nurse staffing.
 
Ohio Senate Bill 5 Summary

UPDATE: I got published :) Columbus Dispatch 9/30/11